well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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