he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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