It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
