I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die, sorry about rent.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize