Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
