Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
