Please, let me fuck your mom
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
