I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize