Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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