gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
