I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
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using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
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My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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