What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
