I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.