As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?