Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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