Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize