they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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