He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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