Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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