shes about as inviting as chlamydia
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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