i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Never let your siblings swipe right.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
