Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up

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  (312): Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up http://tfl.nu/cco3
  Replies (20) Good night (3231) Bad night (979)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job

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  (616): hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job http://tfl.nu/32u0
  Replies (16) Good night (1257) Bad night (3133)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be

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  (+61): i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be http://tfl.nu/xlfe
  Replies (29) Good night (3187) Bad night (1519)
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  (716): View more from New York

  fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans

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  (716): fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans http://tfl.nu/906w
  Replies (155) Good night (8224) Bad night (2701)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.

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  (205): I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs. http://tfl.nu/sygp
  Replies (34) Good night (5773) Bad night (959)
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  (818): View more from California

  I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.

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  (818): I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal. http://tfl.nu/asxv
  Replies (23) Good night (4208) Bad night (1094)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?

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  (313): Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was? http://tfl.nu/iwh3
  Replies (4) Good night (2435) Bad night (1081)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.

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  (907): On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks. http://tfl.nu/rprq
  Replies (4) Good night (2330) Bad night (569)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i want to face-plant into her vagina

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  (617): theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot (617): i want to face-plant into her vagina http://tfl.nu/1iml
  Replies (10) Good night (2660) Bad night (709)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy

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  (717): That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy http://tfl.nu/ttbi
  Replies (5) Good night (1319) Bad night (604)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.

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  (678): I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment. http://tfl.nu/mk4n
  Replies (5) Good night (450) Bad night (1096)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today

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  (570): woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today http://tfl.nu/g1oy
  Replies (1) Good night (1039) Bad night (400)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...

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  (902): Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls... http://tfl.nu/dtir
  Replies (2) Good night (908) Bad night (366)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!

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  (810): He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect! http://tfl.nu/9c1u
  Replies (5) Good night (612) Bad night (269)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears

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  (908): It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears http://tfl.nu/8lxa
  Replies (1) Good night (173) Bad night (272)

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