Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.

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  (404): Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are. http://tfl.nu/hb6o
  Replies (10) Good night (3650) Bad night (492)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge

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  (862): i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge http://tfl.nu/uife
  Replies (12) Good night (1122) Bad night (4131)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?

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  (262): Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon? http://tfl.nu/jffu
  Replies (9) Good night (4469) Bad night (1284)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame

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  (708): Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame http://tfl.nu/f96m
  Replies (14) Good night (1160) Bad night (4236)
• Favorite

  (807): View more from Ontario

  I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick

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  (807): I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick http://tfl.nu/2mmx
  Replies (6) Good night (3720) Bad night (901)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story

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  (816): If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story http://tfl.nu/6mc2
  Replies (6) Good night (982) Bad night (1440)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha

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  (724): You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha http://tfl.nu/w49q
  Replies (2) Good night (872) Bad night (1063)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.

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  (619): You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos. http://tfl.nu/prke
  Replies (7) Good night (2133) Bad night (645)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call

  (906): View more from Michigan

  Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008

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  (808): They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call (906): Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008 http://tfl.nu/rt6t
  Replies (1) Good night (1451) Bad night (603)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.

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  (920): I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months. http://tfl.nu/4vnx
  Replies (4) Good night (640) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP

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  (240): Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP http://tfl.nu/rq2g
  Replies (0) Good night (718) Bad night (432)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.

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  (518): The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid. http://tfl.nu/6fga
  Replies (7) Good night (754) Bad night (1231)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work

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  (412): the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work http://tfl.nu/2wj1
  Replies (12) Good night (1559) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from

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  (864): I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from http://tfl.nu/mmap
  Replies (1) Good night (346) Bad night (538)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  So how'd the job interview go?

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward

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  (303): So how'd the job interview go? (1-303): well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward http://tfl.nu/k32f
  Replies (4) Good night (428) Bad night (418)

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