So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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