I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok