So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.