If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16