I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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