Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
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I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
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Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
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