Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
