Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
