i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize