she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
