i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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