okay pat passed out under dana's car
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
