i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
ttyl tear gas
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Randomize
