I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
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He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
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You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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