I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i drank out of a bidet.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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