you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.