Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
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her facebook's as public as her vagina
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
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Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0