So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight