I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?