is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
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Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.