My Higher Power is John Stamos
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he was CRYING into my vagina
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off