Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize