'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
just tell him i said nine months
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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