He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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