I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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