Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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