If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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