Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
handjob tips. give me some.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible