and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!