I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
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i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
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I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.