i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
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woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
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I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.