I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.