I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.