Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
