PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?