Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
