never play flip cup with pint glasses
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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