i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
