She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
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So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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