this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.