hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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