Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
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Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
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If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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