Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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